My real name vol 2 - Opposite of Abaddon

I found the little paper I wrote. The name wasn't Abaddon, thank God I might say! I had written down "ABEDIA". The most similar name was Obediah, "the servant of God".  I'm confused. I have never been a religious person, at least not in a Christian way. And a servant? It's sounds so.. obedient.  I found Abaddon so cool and mystical! And I can surely tell it wasn't as easy to find a proper picture of Obediah as it was to find of Abaddon.

But I'm rather good than evil.

Does anyone know  hebrew? H is a silent consonant, isn't it? Vocals are replaceable, aren't they? So Obediah could as well be Abedia? Or if it can't what does Abedia mean?

My real name

I saw a weird dream that filled me with joy. I was walking in the green hills and it was sunny and lovely. Suddenly I remembered my real name. I shouted it out and I was filled with joy. I had to wake up and write the name down.

In the morning I tried to find the piece of paper but I couldn't. It was hard to memorize the name because it sounds so "unfamiliar" (even though it FELT like I had always known it.) I wanted to know if the name actually means something so I googled to find it. I found the page that looked promising. I went through the names of a website Behind the names - the etymology and history of first names so I could remember the name by recognizing it.

"Abaddon" sounds kind of right. It is a name of an fallen angel and it means "to destroy"!!! Have I been one of those who abandoned God? I'd surely do anything to know!

Abaddon has been really inpirational figure. He's even in Wikipedia!

The first image of Abaddon I found with Google

What an earth could be joyful about Abaddon?

On research

Measuring, 2009

This is me doing some serious researching. It may be my future. I have no idea what I'll do next autumn but my plan B is to finnish my PhD research plan. I'm just not sure if I'm enough rational person to do more than just a plan. (But I am a visionary - my idea for the plan is great!)

Estimate, 2009

Responce, 2009

Perturbation, 2009

My Master's thesis was an artistic study which was trying to understand mathematical a research of my friend. It was titled Uncertainity and sensitivity  analysis with artistic methods. I hadn't studied mathematics since high school and I didn't study it for my Master's thesis either.

Encounter, 2009

Sometimes I feel like Alice in Wonderland when I have to explore the scientific world.

Palm Sunday

It's a week before Easter and Passion Week starts. The name Palm Sunday refers to the day, when Jesus was riding to Jerusalem and people were spreading palm leaves in his path. As a reminiscence of that day people in Finland decorate willow wigs. Do you see a connection between palm leaves and decorated willow wigs?

We don't have palm leaves so it's understandable but the roots for the traditions are deep in pagan culture, not in Christian culture.

Even I wanted to dress my girl as a little witch so she could make our old neighbors happy by visiting them. She knows the magic verse; "Virvon, varvon, tuoreeks, terveeks, tulevaks vuodeks, vitsa sulle, palkka mulle". With this magic verse little witches and wizards wish you and your household good health and a good year. They will then hand you a willow twig, and as a little reward, they expect you to put a few sweets, little Easter Eggs or a few coins in their basket or pot.

My little witch didn't want to were a scarf or say the magic verse out load. She was too tired so we skipped it this year. This is she last year.

In olden times the reason for using the magic verse was to chase away demons and the rhyme varied from area to area. In the countryside children could say; " ...and if you don't promise me eggs, hawks shall take your chickens". In those days children got real eggs for Easter and they did not receive them until Easter Sunday. It is still a common tradition like Halloween in USA. 

Scientific Fairy Research

My daughter and I have been a little sick. I have been too tired to play with her but she's never too tired to play! I decided to show her Disney Fairies movies so we could at least be together. She's been watching Tinker Bell: Secret of the Wings and Tinker Bell: The Great Fairy Rescue sitting on my lap or next to me.

It's better to show your children movies you like to watch too!

In The Great Fairy Rescue a little girl, Lizzie, captures Tinker Bell and takes her to her home. Lizzie and Tink become friends and they record their information on fairies in a research book.

I was fascinated by the idea of Scientific Fairy Research. I want to make it too! I haven't met Tinker Bell and unfortunately I don't recall my past.

Our Fairyland

 

No, that's not a a fairy in Fairyland nor me as a child. That’s my dear daughter in a Tinkerbell costume in Botanic Garden of Helsinki. Isn't she adorable?

The reason I wanted to become human was to live and witness the miracle of life. Before her - her birth remains my milestone to measure time - I truly lived and experienced the world. Her birth was the greatest thing I have and will ever experience.

I wanted my husband to takes photos of our daughter in Botanic Garden for a reason. It's not just a pretty place, it's also a place where we got married. Every now and then we visit there to escape the coldness of Finland.

My daughter is the most precious thing in the Universe.

Mother tongue

This is my tongue and I am a mother.

English is not my native language, it's Finnish. I decided to write in English so more people could understand me.

At first my ideas have no shape. They are tacit sensations, feelings and knowledge that live in my mind. Then they get forms that are still unclear. I take a pen or my computer and write them down. Usually I write it in Finnish first. I try to think in English but it doesn't come naturally yet. I try to come up with English phrases which best describe my Finnish thoughts. Even when I think I'm ready with my writings I can't be certain that my English is sufficient to understand. I have asked my friends who live in England and Australia to tell me if I'm too impalpable. (Impalpable - is that even the right word?!)

The word for translate in Finnish means also to turn or to twist. It's a lot of twisting and turning before I have formulated my ideas in English phrases.

The more comprehensible I want to be, the more I have to modify my ideas. A paradox of communication.